Encyclopedia Washu
by Rowsdower
Summary: No case is too large or too small for the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe!


DISCLAIMER: I have no ownership, express or implied, over Tenchi Muyo and its associated characters. Neither do I have any ownership over the Encyclopedia Brown series of books.  
  
ENCYCLOPEDIA WASHU  
  
By CYRUS MARRINER  
  
The first rays of dawn peeked over the mountains to illuminate the beautiful landscape of the Masaki shrine. From the crystal-clear lake to the lush forest to the half-clothed Ryoko sleeping upon the roof, everything was a sight to behold.  
  
Katsuhito Masaki was not enjoying these sights, though, as he had decided to sleep in this day. He was forgoing his routine of pretending to meditate and coming up with half-assed platitudes that would have caused Confucius to roll over in his grave. His eyes opened briefly as dawn's illumination filled the shrine office in which he slept.  
  
They shut quickly, and Katsuhito rolled over in an attempt get away from the light that was rapidly filling the small building. However, as soon as his eyes were closed once again and his mind was gently drifting off to sleep, the door to the shrine office slid open.  
  
"We're closed," Katsuhito said tiredly, not even opening his eyes.  
  
"Nope, you're open for business!" came a distinctive voice that immediately caused Katsuhito to cringe.  
  
He sat up in bed and asked, "What are you doing here, Washu?"  
  
The diminutive scientist responded solely by thrusting a piece of paper with calculations on it into his face. He didn't get a chance to read them all, but the bottom one was in red, which he understood clearly enough.  
  
"We've been sustaining eight people on Noboyuki's salary alone. It isn't working. Which means it's time to get this shrine working on an alternative source of funding. Which is why I'm setting up 'Washu's Detective Agency! No Job Too Large or Too Small!' to pick up the slack!" Washu explained.  
  
Suddenly, Katsuhito found himself being pushed outside. "I've decided to use this shrine office as my base of operations! Hope you don't mind." Washu smiled and ducked her head back inside, slamming the door shut before Katsuhito could offer his feeble protest.  
  
Katsuhito sighed and began walking down the steps, wincing as the sounds of construction traveled from the shrine office to his ears. "Seven hundred years unchanged," he sighed. "Oh well."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Several hours later, Mihoshi ascended the steps to the Masaki Shrine. She was trying to find Washu because she needed something fixed that she had broken, and Katsuhito had directed here there. Once she reached the top of the steps, she discovered the shrine office largely unchanged. With the exception of a lit sign above it that read:  
  
WASHU HAKUBI'S DETECTIVE AGENCY  
  
NO CASE TOO LARGE OR TOO SMALL  
  
INQUIRE WITHIN  
  
Mihoshi brightened. She had finally found her quarry. She quickly approached and knocked on the door.  
  
"Enter," came Washu's voice, and Mihoshi did. The office was incredibly dark, illuminated only by the light from the cigarette Washu was puffing on and the small amount that filtered through the door. Washu was wearing a fedora, black slacks and a black vest. Her legs were propped up on her desk and her eyes were hidden beneath the hat's brim. "Whaddya want?" she asked as soon as Mihoshi shut the door behind herself.  
  
"Um, Washu, I was broke the toaster and I was wondering if you could fix it," Mihoshi ventured timidly, intimidated by the atmosphere in the room.  
  
"Oh, it's just you," Washu said, disappointed. She snapped her fingers and the room was flooded with light from her desk lamp and a few other lamps around the room. Mihoshi finally got a good look at the new shrine office, and was surprised by how much it had changed.  
  
The floor was now carpeted; it was dark gray. Also, there was a coat rack right beside the door. However, the thing that stuck out most to Mihoshi was how the walls were lined with bookshelves, covered with books of equal height.  
  
"What are all of these books here?" Mihoshi asked, her eyes circling the room to look at them all.  
  
"They're encyclopedias," Washu answered irritably. "Now, maybe you should leave before--"  
  
Mihoshi cut her off midsentence. "With all these encyclopedias, maybe it should be 'Encyclopedia Washu's Detective Agency'," she said, chuckling at her own joke.  
  
"Listen," began Washu angrily. "You need to get out of here before-- "  
  
Once again, Washu was interrupted. But this time she was cut off by a knock on the door. "--a customer gets here," she finished, muttering to herself. She quickly snapped her fingers and the room went dark again. She put the cigarette back in her mouth and tilted down her hat and propped her legs back up on the desk quickly, motioning for Mihoshi to move to the side.  
  
"Enter," Washu said once she was satisfied everything was okay.  
  
The door slid open and two women walked in, both wearing fancy robes. One had long black hair, while the other had equally long blue hair.  
  
"Funaho? Misaki?" Washu asked, incredulous. "What are you two doing here?"  
  
"Well, you see, we have a case," Funaho said, speaking for the both of them.  
  
"Well, you came to the right place, because no case is too large or too small for--"  
  
"Encyclopedia Washu's Detective Agency!" Mihoshi finished for Washu, who was frozen in place, her finger in the air and mouth opened.  
  
Funaho paid Washu's shocked position no heed and continued, "Yes, well, 'Encyclopedia Washu', we have a problem. We have some ruins, and they've been, well..."  
  
"Busted," Misaki finished. "We think Kags is behind this, but we don't have any evidence! That's where you come in, Encyclopedia Washu. We need you to find evidence so we can finally put that Most Wanted Criminal status we've been trying to get for so long on him."  
  
"Kags?" Washu asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Kagato P. Meanig," Funaho elaborated. "Kags Meany for short."  
  
"I see." Washu nodded. "Where are these ruins?"  
  
"Um, Lunaris VI," Funaho said.  
  
"Very well, we shall go to the scene of the crime! Come on, Mihoshi, let's take Yukinojo!" Washu stood and began to leave.  
  
"Um, but what about the toaster?" Mihoshi asked.  
  
"They can live without toast for a few days. Now come on!" Washu said, grabbing her trench coat from the coat rack and putting it on. "Let's go to Lunaris VI!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
A few hours later, the four women were orbiting Lunaris VI in Yukinojo, scanning the planet for any sign of Kagato. It wasn't long before Yukinojo piped up, "Washu, I have located the Souja. It's on the salt flats at the far side of the planet."  
  
"Excellent," Washu said. "Land us next to him." She rubbed her hands together excitedly as Yukinojo entered the planet's atmosphere. Soon she could see Kagato and the Souja on the main viewscreen. Kagato was walking up a ramp into the massive ship when he looked up and saw Yukinojo approaching. He immediately turned around and walked down to greet the newcomers, who were now landing.  
  
"Hello, Washu," he said as she exited Yukinojo. "What brings you to Lunaris VI?"  
  
"I heard some ruins were busted. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Washu asked suspiciously.  
  
"Why no, I wouldn't," Kagato replied. "I just arrived here a few minutes ago myself. There's an organism that lives in these salt flats I needed for an experiment. A rare strain of bacteria."  
  
"I see. Well, where have you been the last few days?"  
  
"Deep space. I'm afraid I have nobody to vouch for me, although the Souja's logs will corroborate my story. Would you care to check?"  
  
"I think I--" Washu was once again interrupted by Mihoshi, who was running down the ramp from Yukinojo in full battle armor, waving her pistol.  
  
"Kags Meany, you are under arrest!" she yelled, and fired her pistol twice into the air. "Don't try anything funny! OW!" Mihoshi's last exclamation was a result of her shots, which had apparently hit some loose part of the Souja. Now a few pieces of it were falling down and striking her on the head.  
  
Funaho and Misaki descended the ramp behind her, and Funaho put her hand on the dazed detective's shoulder. "We don't know that Kags is guilty yet," she said, calming the easily excitable detective.  
  
Meanwhile, Washu was groping around in her tangled mass of hair, trying to find a piece of the Souja that had fallen into her hair. Finally her hands found the cool piece of metal, which she pulled out and tossed to Kagato.  
  
"I think your ship dropped this, Kags," Washu said mockingly.  
  
Kagato sneered and caught the piece, turning to Mihoshi. "I'm expecting you to reimburse the damage you have caused to my ship."  
  
Mihoshi ignored him completely and instead directed a question to Funaho. "Why can't I arrest him?"  
  
"Because we don't know he's guilty," Funaho responded calmly.  
  
"But I know he's lying! I just know it!" Mihoshi replied emphatically.  
  
"No, we don't," Funaho said.  
  
Before she could say more, Washu cut her off. "Yes we do. Kagato, you're lying to us, and I bet that I'd be able to prove you responsible for this ruins busting if I performed a few tests on the Souja's weapons systems. As it is, I think you should be taken into custody for this crime, and I'm calling the Galaxy Police."  
  
HOW DID WASHU KNOW KAGATO WAS LYING?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kagato said he had just landed on this planet moments earlier, but when Washu picked the piece of it out of her hair, it was cold. If Kagato had just landed on the planet, then the Souja would have been superheated from atmospheric reentry, and she would have been unable to touch the piece without burning herself. Her hair probably would have caught fire, too.  
  
Washu realized this and immediately called the authorities, who Kagato killed in his escape.  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
Thanks to Mary for proofreading, and thanks to you for reading. 


End file.
